Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

The past week has been as good as can be expected.
It has helped that I'm not working and can focus all of my energy on healing.
Life slowly seems to be getting better...a "new normal".

Saturday night I became a part of society again and went out in public!
I put on some new clothes and heels for the first time in about 6 months.
If you know me, you know how out of character it is to go that long without heels!
We went to a really cute little restaraunt in Corona Del Mar. It was so nice to feel normal again!

For the first time in weeks, no one asked about the baby.
As much as I have LOVED all of the support from everyone, it was relaxing to get a break from talking about everything for a little while!
Everyone needs a "breather" every now and then, and we will definitely be making it a priority to take our little "breathers" more often.

Makeup AND hair done?! Holy crap...

Easter was really hard for me.
It was supposed to be the first day all of my extended in-laws saw us since announcing the pregnancy.
We decided not to go to to Easter this year.
I had imagined hearing all of the "Congratulations" on that day, and instead I knew we would hear the "I'm sorry's" and "Are you okay's?"
That would have been too much, too soon.
You never know when the bad days are going to come, but when they do they hit you like a ton of bricks.
I didn't really get out of bed on Sunday. And that's okay...I'm just riding the roller coaster!
But with all the laying around...I got a pretty great idea!

I decided to buy some pink balloons and write messages on them to Finn.
I thought that would be a nice way to feel like I could have some communication with her and possibly even provide a little closure.

So today, we bought balloons and each of us wrote a message on one.
Brian, Meeko and I went to the park and kissed the balloons and sent them up to her.

I loved it and am SO glad we got to do that today.
It was just what I needed.
Watching the balloons float to my baby made me so happy!
I can't wait to do it again on another special day.

I also got back to "work" today and started baking again!
Man, it had been way too long.
Slowly, but surely, starting to feel like myself.

I have a busy week ahead!
I am meeting with a psychic/medium tomorrow and I couldn't be more excited.
I watch all of those crazy shows and totally believe in that stuff!
I know it can be a little nuts, but hopefully this lady is the real deal.

Then, Thursday is Jenna's birthday dinner and the first time I will see her since she has moved home!
It will also be the first time I've seen friends since my surgery.

"To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping."

And not like I'm counting or anything...
but Hawaii in 40 days!!! YAY!!!

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